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1. |
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everything that I have done and I have seen
it comes to me
And everything that isn't true and isn't real
I set it free
you are a dream
in this world
what do we mean
in this world
and everything that ever breathed and ever bled
are things I see
and everything that grew on earth and walked on earth
can never be
you are a dream
in this world
what do we mean
in this world
and everything I haven't shown and do not know
it leaves me be
and all of this I haven't said, breaking of bread
it leaves from me
you are a dream
in this world
what do we mean
in this world
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2. |
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I live in the sky
and you live on the ground
and we just can't seem to be
even if it feels like destiny
it feels like it ought to be
I take in too much
and you let it all go
and we just can't seem to be
even though it it feels like destiny
it feels like it shouldn't be
I've said too much
and you can't feel my touch
and we just can't seem to be
even if it feels like destiny
everything feels like it ought to be
I can't be around
and you can't feel my sound
and we just can't seem to see
even if it feels like destiny
it feels like it ought to be
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3. |
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4. |
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I don't know which way to go
the fork's got so many spokes
I'm riding on that wave that bends
this ride's my trip to thoughts I send
I know myself
like the side of the road
that drifts on offerings
of winds that bleed and mend
I don;t know so many things
use time to breathe my recompense
I'm sucking all that info in
it fills in gaps inside my fence
I know myself
like the side of the road
that drifts on offerings
of winds that bleed and mend
you'll fly no matter how hard you try
you'll wonder with thunder
I'll be following the storm
getting soaked out in the rain
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5. |
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please try to see me
see me as I am
without your standards
holding me down
we have always been bleeding through
the lies and guidelines you'd have us do
I was lost for all these years
I played your game and felt all your fears
you put me in a cage
I slept inside it with all my rage
I was lost but now I'm found
you can find me in this sound
please try to see us
see us as we are
without your standards
holding us down
I have always been bleeding through
the lies and guidelines you'd have me do
we were lost for all these years
we played your game and felt all your fears
you put us in a cage
we slept inside it with all our rage
we were lost but now we're found
you can find us in our sound
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6. |
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I'm home and you're awake
my heart, it cannot break
I lost all of my parts
my brain fell into dark
my thoughts carry me away
I'm hard, I'll never break
your heart is never fake
our souls will never wake
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7. |
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she rides on waves inside my mind
moves my memories to the bone
hold onto thoughts that she can find
follow me as I have grown
we circle through this life
with pasts behind in joy and strife
we circle onto death after this life
in heart and mind in joy and strife
I feel her move inside my mind
her trauma in my bones
let go of thoughts only we can find
move us forward as we have grown
we circle through this life
with pasts behind in joy and strife
we circle onto death after this life
in heart and mind in joy and strife
she rode the wave of discontent
her past bleeding in my bones
her thoughts are dreams that I can find
follow me as I have grown
we circle through this life
with pasts behind in joy and strife
we circle onto death after this life
in heart and mind in joy and strife
she whispers hope inside my mind
her faith bleeding in my bones
these thoughts are only mine to find
they swell as I have grown
we circle through this life
with pasts behind in joy and strife
we circle onto death after this life
in heart and mind in joy and strife
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8. |
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I can't run a million miles
lost all sense of my smile
I lay down in this ditch
caught in this brain switch
I love enemies in disguise
help me break this useless guise
I fall down in this ditch
caught in reality's glitch
material
I love you when we said goodbye
to say it now would be a lie
I climb out of this ditch
running laps around this pitch
I can breathe a million sighs
there's nothing left of our ties
found my way out of this ditch
still caught in reality's glitch
material
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9. |
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oh me, oh my
I'm gonna die
this is my day
I have it made
oh me, oh my
I'm gonna try
to find my way
I'm not afraid
oh me, oh my
as winds go by
hear what I say
this sorrow will fade
oh me, oh my
see past the lies
lost in the fray
cuts like a blade
oh me, oh my
we're gonna die
this is our day
we have it made
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September 13, 2020: Spartan Jet-Plex aka Nancy Grim Kells (they/them) is a founding member of Gr and lives in rural Virginia a little over an hour south of Richmond. Live releases on the 10th anniversary of the death of Kells' mom and the song Circle is specifically about her.
This past summer also marks the 12th anniversary of Kells living in rural Virginia, which to Kells "is like a strange backwards mirror to the 12 years previously when I was living in Los Angeles. Most people move to LA to find themselves or find something. I moved there to experience life differently, but it wasn't until I left Los Angels and moved here that I found my queer family and felt part of a music community." Although writing and recording music for over 20 years, it was not until 2019 that Kells started playing shows as Spartan Jet-Plex. Kells goes deep in this interview with The All Scene Eye on how playing their music out and honing their mastering skills by remastering older albums has reshaped and helped them reimagine their music in new ways.
theallsceneeye.com/2020/04/08/spartan-jet-plex-on-remastering-reimagining-and-growing-at-their-own-pace/
On playing out and their new album, Kells explains, "I specifically started with just guitar and vocals knowing I would want to add in other things later once I felt comfortable and happy with my ability to play a set live. It's difficult to capture what I do on records in a live setting so I decided just to do stripped down versions and work on mastering that. I doubt I ever will, but I played out quite frequently and I was getting better, more confident and less nervous, although I doubt I will ever not feel nervous playing live. After playing out a while, I imagined making transition pieces that I could play between songs. I do this a lot on my albums and on several past album tracks. From there, I decided to create an album that would sound like I am hoping my live sets will be like once playing out is a thing again. It was on my mind quite a bit, and after the pandemic began and I was laid off, I finally decided that this was a good opportunity to work on this idea. When I play live again, the transition pieces I created on this album will be played between songs."
This release also contains a secret album of field recordings that Kells has been collecting since moving to Virginia in 2008. It will be available to those who purchase and download Live. Lastly, Kells created a film version of Live with collaborator and Gr member, Rafael de Toledo Pedroso, and their partner Pedro Pedrosa. They used footage of Kells' yard, home and cats juxtaposed with footage of life in Rafael's and Pedro's towns in Paraná and Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. Rafa also did all the editing and effects for the film. Kells plans to use a version of this film as a backdrop for their live sets in the future. The songs from Live are also available as individual music videos.
There's a dual meaning in the title Live. Although Kells is once again reflecting on the struggles and meanings in life and death this album also celebrates life and living and how Virginia has truly TRANSformed their life in various ways for the better. Through this living also came Grimalkin, which was born from their love of teaching, facilitating, grassroots organizing, mutual aid, community, found family, advocacy, and music.
Proceeds from this album go to Gr's label and mutual aid fund.